we've been around each other four times, kailey and I. the first was at a trash mag event. franz was playing, I remember crying during the emotionally-charged set. kailey wasn't known to me yet. she was the girl I took a photo of getting her wrist tattoo'd by franz in-between sets.
we officially met when we did an @home shoot in january of 2020. a time so magical we vowed to hang out again. promises of drunken game nights and celebrating ourselves as young people figuring shit out. I don't have to mention what happened not too long after but we wouldn't see each other for almost half a decade. I traveled to the bay in 2024 and she hosted me, cooked for me, introduced me to this ridiculous anime—all while she was juggling finals.
it wasn't until my most recent visit 6/13/25, the same day I visited bergen, that she let me crash once more—cooked for me once more, made me laugh once more, and allowed herself to be welcomed once more into this archive of wonderfully creative people. her specialty is making motherfuckers bleed.
kailey's holding an old project of her own dismembered head. if there was ever anyone to hit up to fake a death, I'd think I'd go to her. all you really need are the most subtle identifying features like an earring or birthmark—the rest can be mashed up and bloodied. I always told myself I'm keeping myself tattoo-free in case I'd ever need to commit a crime (I'd litter temps all over my body beforehand then wash it away once I'm on the run) but now... well I need something that will have the coroners saying "yeah that's him but there's nothing really left to test on" while I'm halfway through montana. need that.
if I'm ever dead. don't believe it. I'm somewhere on the run, ipod full of my ripped cds blasting through whatever beater car I miraculously learned how to operate on a whim.
I love my time with my friends. with kailey. to run around san francisco as if I had my normal life there. so close to all my pals compared to the massive sprawl that is los angeles. hell, I'd even try dating if my stay was permanent. you try spontaneously catching the metro from the valley to highland park for sex—by the time you get there ol' reliable beat ya to it. I still think I'd have a better chance with that in new york but san francisco (and the bay in general) is a close second.
sometimes I get depressed about feeling alone in life. how I'm not really close to anyone or have people to go to. I'm always so wrong. especially when I have someone amazing + kind as kailey who welcomes me with open arms. I can't ask for a better friend waiting for me in the bay. I can always look back at these photos and reimagine those early 20-somethings in los angeles trying to party before the world got fucked up. It took us awhile to realize those hopes but we did it, and I'm grateful for it forever.
