it was charlie's birthday jazz night. 11/18/23. mia was there. katrina was there. nat was there. lola was there. melissa was there too. I didn't know her yet, but I definitely noticed her. dyed-blonde hair + blue eyes are hard to gloss over.
her presence was seen on every other instagram post about some event that I couldn't make it to. it wouldn't be until a party at zoe + ash's (the one I that I went to the night before gabby's session that left me still drunk come morning and sore from spinning a 200+ pound, 34 year old man in the air) where we formally met and later plan our photoshoot for 9/7/25.
she released a zine recently.
"saved"
I couldn't make it to the release show. I think I was still financially recovering from revisiting vegas with quynn and the other frequent targets of this administration. please don't ask me how I burned through all my money. the main things that hurt were the dollars spent on eating the most mid-ass food from whataburger + white castle. at least I got a cute enamel pin from the coca-cola store.
I don't even know what the zine is about. melissa literally sold out. couldn't even get a glimpse of the thing when I got to her place. this was worst case fomo. how can I write about something I haven't read? I'm dying to hold it. at least there's youth culture 2000. a webzine by melissa and mia that goes full throttle on the y2k nostalgia. I'm going through it right now, zine 2, just finished reading "purity pop" by melissa.
it actually is crazy how they have that website set up. it's that early web 2.0 vibe. myspace before the redesign everyone hated—I fucked with the timberlake era though! melissa's profile includes her likes that list the "ps2" which is factual! in her bedroom, hooked up to her television is an old ps2 slim. for those that don't know, it's smaller than a standard notebook. cute little thing is just chilling amongst the makeup and crucifixes.
after our shoot, melissa offered some snacks. so we sat at her kitchen table eating an assortment of textures that don't go together. fruit gummies, trader joe's takis dupes, apple pie oreos, double stuf oreos, cheese puffs, and lemonade. she just wanted to make sure I was good for the road. I feel sometimes we see kindness as some grand gesture to win our affinity—it's the small stuff though. the things that we gloss over and wouldn't be bothered if they aren't done. from the snacks, offering to fill my water, giving me a paper towel when I was visibly wiping the "takis" dust from my fingers onto my jeans (because sucking them would have been rude imo).
the little things.
the best little thing from this entire visit though, is the next time I go to a party or a show or somewhere else we happen to both be at—we get to say hello, again.
or I can't make it and the fomo kills me once more.
