I'm listening to "the field" by dylan thom as I write this. I heard this while on tour with birthday girl, eva was driving and played it through the aux—I think we were driving through pennsylvania. I can't stop listening to it, and every time I do I think of her, the band, the tour. intrinsically linked.
I don't seek out new music too often. I think I'm scared of bad things, the risk of bad music hitting my phone. the apathy that builds from it. sometimes I'm tired of the same shit being fed to me in my fake shuffled "liked songs" so I will occasionally trust the algorithm to show me new things I hope to fuck with.
through my brave, brave ability to trust machines—and the swedish—, "bankrupt" by primadonis blessed me a month before I'd leave for new york city.
who was this person?
I found out he lived in nyc. I messaged him to organize a session before I hit the road with birthday girl. we made it happen, as always (I am never rejected and I'm totally still not waiting for dillon from julie to confirm his availability).
brat. charli xcx. it's important.
back when brat came out. I was sooooo fucking obsessed. especially when the remix came out. so many great moments on the album, like the "mean girls" piano breakdown?? which I still stand is so daft punk inspired.
but speaking of daft punk...
I loved seeing other people speak on the things I was loving. I went down a rabbit hole of reaction videos to brat and the remix album. seeing all these creators on their channels sharing the same appreciations, the vibes were high. I'll miss brat summer.
look at my surprise when I find primadonis through his music and discover he was part of a duo that reacted to brat. the daft hunks. are you kidding me?
thank you charli xcx. I might never have primadonis in my life without you.
gonna play "bankrupt" rn.
yeah, it's hitting right now. I love music that feels so nostalgic in the best of ways. for a yankees fan, he sure loves the sun in los angeles.
taylor just texted me.
whenever we're in new york together, only twice now, we go to this place called kadamba kafe in brooklyn near barclays. I'm remembering it all now as this anthem keeps playing in the background. I'm gonna run it back again. the song. the memories. the trip to new york. the day with taylor. I'm gonna do it all over again
everything can be special and I'm lucky to have so much be. after we took our photos, we got thai from around the corner and said goodbye.
as hard as it can be, I love this life.
