this is the second time I've photographed ven for the series. I didn't have the blog then though.
july 5th 2022—syd's birthday (it's actually the 4th). a pirate party that doubled as a farewell to twins milner and jess. milner, whom I potentially fumbled a hookup with because I couldn't tell if they and their passed-out-on-the-couch partner were poly (they were). we were headbutting each other throughout the night and at the end of it I had panicked when they mentioned the intimacy of it. all I left with was a goose egg on my forehead.
somewhere in the middle of the soiree, ven pulled up. I can't remember with whom, probably the rest of fangbanger but I was gone off of a large supply of sangria and liquor... I can't remember the details from that time.
there was a kiddie pool I had gotten into earlier in the day with my jeans on so I had to leave them air-drying while I partied in my underwear almost the entire rest of the night (I still had my shirt and eye-patch on though).
so there I was, in the living room, down to my boxers, chatting to ven about horrible shroom trips like any sane person would be doing at a pirate party in echo park.
somehow, after that entire debacle, ven was down to be in the blog.
I pulled up to a room, portions of it kawaii shit—the rest were leather and chains, bountiful empty packs of american spirits, and a cat. the garage of that place was the fangbanger den. I wish I had taken more photos of it freestanding. most of the time it's the last time I'm ever somewhere. the option is always there though, until it isn't. I can imagine myself back in that old home. parts of it blending in my memory with the other homes I've been in—ember's, ashley's. I'm glad I still have those pictures from those years ago to bring clarity to those mixed recollections
the next time I'd see ven was at syd's next birthday party at cassie's place. the whole fangbanger band was there, formally met them all. I met a lot of people there, including hannah.
I think we talked about the potential of taking band photos. it never happened. I'm terrible at reaching out to people, it's a miracle this blog even exists.
we didn't talk the rest of the night. I was too busy being drunk, taking photos on syd's point and shoot, and yapping with ivy while we missed out on singing happy birthday–which also happened a different time on julianne's birthday when I couldn't stop talking with brady at desert 5 spot.
the last time I saw ven before this shoot, was at the celebration of life. for alex, for kate, for fangbanger.
everyone there got to hear the new album they had made together. we were all sat down. I was positioned between all the goth baddies profusely crying.
my feet go numb when I've been sitting for too long.
when the album played through and everyone got back to sharing their memories with each other, I couldn't stand up. the blood flow was gone. I was smacking the shit out of my feet to get the pins and needles going—I needed to feel anything to get back up.
I left shortly after. I didn't know them all that much. I'm sad for the memories never made, but glad for what we did have (me being ridiculous).
much later, ven and I got together for the blog and took photos of themself in their yaoi dungeon.
