'm' would show up on my feed from my involvement with zoe + ashlynn, et al. I wouldn't meet m until last year for [redacted], a chaotic group outing where I forgot nearly everyone's name—m included. it took me nearly a year to finally reach out (pestering zoe to tell me what her real name and instagram username was) after seeing such amazing art. but seriously, so good. the make-up, the sculptures, the paintings, the digital art, the everything. m isn't tied to a single form of art. I hate to say a jack-of-all-trades because it implies some amount of disservice to not being hyper-focused on an individual skillset—but I can't spot m lacking in any. I see an artist capable of flowing between mediums and distinctively exploring concepts with the full drive to experiment however greatly they want. I'm in fucking awe of it.
I saw the shrine to the dead. I saw the houses of the living. you'd know what I mean if you bear witness yourself.
it is funny though. I had mentioned during our session for whatever reason, my fear of demons. the ever-present evils that you could only be victim to. I prefer the idea of a simulation and the collapses of reality—the implication that we exist beyond what we see is way more comforting as opposed to being at the mercy of gods and devils.
I wanna speak simlish.
whenever someone is incredible, what do you feel? what's your instinct? we all have an idea of what we want to feel if we're unlucky to experience something else. I want to feel pride for them. I want to celebrate. I want to feel motivated, to get on that level—to see what is possible and drive myself to feeling the way about my own work that I feel towards someone else's.
I don't, of course.
a trapped loop of comparisons. misguided excuses. a pity party. never at the expense of whoever makes me feel that way, that's such a shitty thing to do. "I love your work so much I want to kill myself" huh? no. attempting to knock someone down because you know you're not where you want to be is sad, gets you nowhere. I remind myself all the time.
that being said, m is unbelievable. if I met m under different circumstances where my only exposure were the social media pages full of their art—I'd have been too scared to reach out, or just not expect to hear back or instead receive an immediate rejection as I did from musicians mareux and sky ferreira, the latter being from her mgmt team.
I'm grateful I met m when I did, I'm glad we got together again on 9/21/24 to have the archive acquire another immensely talented artist. truly the highlight of my day given I lost my wallet hours later when I went to the east side.
