the first time I meet someone isn't the best. I'm trying to figure out who someone is, the things I can say, where we lie in terms of personalities and response to whatever topics we're brushing. there's that anxiety of "don't say something stupid or negative, don't fuck up" that follows me anywhere I'm at. it takes me a few experiences with people to finally get it, not necessarily them but "us" and the way our relationship is in the bigger scope of it all. very rarely do I get that first time dazzling
the first time I was dazzled though was at the combined pirated-themed syd's birthday + milner leaves for nyc farewell party. milner and I would talk in moments through the night, we'd headbutt each other gently and a little tougher (I'd end up with a goosebump on my forehead). one occasion we pressed our bubbling hematomas close and made eye-contact where milner would point out that it was "a little intimate"—which for anyone is a clue to kiss but milner's partner at the time was passed out on the sofa and I don't know if milner rolled liked that so I panicked because jonny baby respects potentially monogamous relationships. so I said something stupid and disengaged and just went about my way the rest of the night (later I'd find milner and syd making out behind the house so milner indeed did roll like a roly-poly).
the second time I was a little stricken by my first meeting was with kyla, who is just a person with such a warm energy that you'd find it difficult to find anyone who wasn't immediately at a loss of words to describe the fluttering in their chest upon leaving the room.
that's to say, my first time meeting bri was for our initial @home shoot last year. we were friendly as can be of course, but there was just a disconnect I couldn't explain. I personally was also still figuring out my approach to the series, forgetting the reason why I even went through with it—something I rediscovered as I put together my exhibition on the project at junior high (the gallery).
I'd see bri every few months from photographing different markets and gallery openings at worklife studios in silverlake, the gallery space she owns. slowly building that rapport on familiarity, of friends—not just friendly. I think it really came together at the last gallery opening this past october, 10/10/2024. I filled up on some juneshine and actually talked to people. I'm typically more reserved at events where I don't know anybody but having done photo coverage for worklife a handful of times I finally saw familiar faces for what they were and knew in that moment "oh yeah I belong here, this is something I do, I'm no stranger" and I chatted about feeling alright about where I am. bri and I caught up when we could and made tentative plans to do an updated home entry, new place, new hair, new outlook. it all came together a few days ago, 11/16/2024.
I love bangs.
I'm really grateful for all the time I had with bri. everything from that initial meeting of unsureness to the various opening nights to this most recent shoot—it all comes together in what I consider to be proper friendship. which, might be sappy to mention, it's all I ever want in life. I love a little camaraderie.
